Mom exposes deadbeat ex when mother-in-law accuses her of misusing child support for 8-year-old son: 'My ex didn't make a single payment'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 29, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

A couple going through a breakup when they have kids together is always more complicated than when it happens without. It means that they have individuals other than themselves to think about, although that appears to be the last thing on the minds of some parents in this situation. From custody agreements to child support, there is plenty to argue over and struggle with when it comes to ending a relationship while there are children involved.

When it comes to this unfortunate scenario, the best thing that a parent can do is try to provide all that their child needs. This doesn't always happen, and friction can occur when one ex-partner ends up being a lot more responsible than the other. Ensuring the well-being of your own children should not be something that is up for argument, but sadly, that is exactly what winds up happening in many different families.

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  • 01

    AITA for sending Child Maintenance statements to my ex-MIL?

    I (35f) split up with my ex just over a year ago. We had some issues with getting him to provide for our son (now 8). His parents were very much interested in the drama. When I made an application through official "Child Maintenance Service" and he received a schedule listing his monthly payments. His parents contacted me asking to agree to an unofficial payment plan, because the CMS amount was just too much, claiming that getting a lower amount agreed between us was better than not receiving a
    via Equivalent_Scene_608

  • One mom had run out of patience with her ex refusing to pay a paltry amount of child support for her son. After her former mother-in-law decided to get involved with the situation, things escalated.

    The mom had taken her son on a trip to a theme park for his birthday, and the grandma had accused her of using her ex's money and making him look bad in comparison. 

    In response, the mom sent documented proof of the deadbeat dad's failed payment schedule, as well as the booking confirmation for the trip. Her ex's family was not happy, and she wanted to know if she had done something wrong.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10536062208
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    My ex didn't make a single payment and lost his job shortly after. His child maintenance amount was recalculated granting him payments of £7-ish/week, which he still refused to pay, which then caused the CMS to collect the money themselves and charging him (and me) some extra fees for the service. His parents were very much aware of it, and complained about it, especially about the fees [he gets charged 20%] and about the arrears that are still on the account.
    via Equivalent_Scene_608
  • 04
    I'm sorry for the long intro, but I find it important. To the issue- it was my son's birthday last week. I took time off and took him on a 2 short stay at one of the UK's theme parks. When his dad and his family found out I received a call from his mother complaining that now that I live off her poor son I can afford taking my kid to trips like this and making his dad look bad in comparison. [for context- we've been to multiple theme parks over the years, including last year, when my ex still re
    via Equivalent_Scene_608
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10536064000
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    Well, she messaged me shortly after. I received a wall of text basically telling me off for making her son struggle, when I spent his money on memories and making myself look like the better parent. I couldn't take the bs and took two screenshots: 1. holiday booking confirmation (including hotel, park tickets etc) 2. Total Child Maintenance payments received in the last year
    via Equivalent_Scene_608
  • 07
    I sent it to her with a note: "Has your poor son sponsored our trip or has he taken active part in providing for [son's name] over the last year? You can't claim both. Pick one, please." In response I received more angry messages from both ex-MIL upset about being called out like that, and from my ex, who was angry that I got his mother involved and that I pointed out how bad he is at providing for our son. I don't think I got her involved, but my opinion may be skewed, so here I am, asking: Red
    via Equivalent_Scene_608
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10536065024
    via Nagy Szabi

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09

    Commenters wholeheartedly supported her response.

    LiveKindly01 ΝΤΑ 1- They wanted to around...now they're finding out 2- YOU didn't involve the MIL, SHE involved herself 3 - I wonder where your ex got his 'I shouldn't have to be mature and responsible when I can just complain instead' trait?
    via LiveKindly01
  • 10
    dadsoup actually he involved his mom by constantly complaining about it so the mom felt like she had to say something
    via dadsoup
  • 11
    froggylove78 NTA. This is giving everything. I don't think you went far enough. "Bless your heart, are you embarrassed by your de d beat son? It's hard to raise good kids, isn't it." Keep your receipts and use them every time.
    via froggylove78
  • 12
    PhotojournalistOnly Right!?!? "So should son never get to do anything special since his dad can't/won't take him??? Instead of having one good parent, should I just lower myself so he can have two equally ones??"
    via PhotojournalistOnly
  • 13
    ImpossibleReason2204 I had an ex like this. The payment calculated was next to nothing, but he still wanted a different agreement between us for less. I had it collected from the start, he worked under the table to avoid it. Luckily I didn't have his parents to deal with like you do, I feel for you. From the moment I got divorced I promised myself that I wouldn't let his issues decide our lives. I took my kid on trips and to theme parks and put him through private school on my own. He is grown a
    via ImpossibleReason2204
  • 14
    your-mom04605 NTA Fantastic reply - legend status for you! But seriously, just block her number and stop communicating with her. Your ex can deal with his mother - there's no reason for you to waste your time with her.
    via your-mom04605
  • 15
    nowaymary NTA Why oh why is it ok for people to not pay proper child support? And why oh why do people think they can comment? Tell his mother you are bringing your son up to be a responsible productive man, maybe she should take some notes to fix where she went wrong
    via nowaymary
  • 16
    Fun-Yellow-6576 NTA. Of course he's telling her he's paying more than requested and you're blowing it. Now that she knows the truth he's upset. Block her completely
    via Fun-Yellow-6576
  • 17
    International-Fee255 NTA But delete her number. It's up to your childs father to accommodate visits to his side of the family, there's no need for you to be in contact with her.
    via International-Fee255
  • 18
    forgetregret1 day You couldn't buy a bottle of water at a theme park for the $7 he's not paying you so I hardly think this is a you problem. He's a deadbeat and his mother is delusional and the combination has to be hard to take but you're handling this just right. They can't fight logic and apparently don't live in a rational world so I'd just let the ex continue to dig his own grave and put the mother on permanent ignore. It's sad for your son but thankfully he has one parent who's making him
    via forgetregret1day
  • 19
    Different Guess_5407 NTA - you didn't get your ex MIL involved in this - she pushed her self to the front & centre of all of it...
    via Different_Guess_5407
  • 20
    TheMagicCat0622 NTAH. But you are wasting your time with a denier of reality. You cannot have a rational argument with an irrational person. You cannot win an argument with someone who refuses to accept reality and facts. So don't bother. Continue through CMS, you were right, he will not pay unless it is enforced by law and as you have already experienced, he will resist that as well. Stop arguing and fighting with his mother over this. Stop responding to her. You might think about blocking her.
    via ThatMagicCat0622
  • 21
    Expensive-Height8831 NTA. She involved herself the moment she tried to guilt-trip you over your own parenting. You just handed her the receipts. Actions have consequences - especially when you come for someone unprovoked.
    via Expensive-Height8831
  • 22
    diminishingpatience NTA. You didn't get his mother involved, she chose to involve herself. His refusal even to attempt to support his child is disgraceful.
    via diminishingpatience

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family drama parenting child support family money aita kids grandma deadbeat dad dad mother in law reddit thread Reddit mom son
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